Shanghai Contemporary Art Fair Part 1- The boring press conference poem, “Art Fair = Utopia“

The Shanghai Contemporary Art Fair has already taken Shanghai (and the anxious rest of the world) by storm and it hasn’t even yet begun, but the press conference (held at the Italian consulate) was soo boring that I started taking notes, kind of, then Lisa Movius (freelance darling of the Shanghai Cultural Scene) starting texting me.
Below is compilation of the texts and notes etc.

Something about simultaneous translation
Sleeping in the back
Everybody plugging away on their Blackberries
The trajectory of contemporary art in China and all the people who helped along the way
minus everyone who actually helped, ruminates behind the Blackberry punches
Pierre Huber responsible for bringing Asian Art to the world's attention
Which world was that again?
Where is that International Art world anyway?
“I am dying of boredom, you?”
Overlapping
Translators and Speakers interrupting one another
Starts and Stops
Simultaneous stutter like a cd skipping
“Seems escapism. The government asshole should be fun”
Sides of faces and backs of heads, the usual Shanghai art suspects:
Victoria Lu, Laura Zhou from Shangart, Lisa Movious, Davide from BizArt, James Cohan guy AKA Arthur Solway, local press busier than bees
Enter Chinese Speaker:
Booms. Change of tone
Self Flattery, Mobility, Enthusiasm, Morale
You'd never see this in the days of Hans Van Dyck
Was this an Art Fair or Utopia?
Voice projects outwards and upwards hitting highs that puff out the back wall of glass overlooking 19 floors of Shanghai
More on China’s miraculous economic reform
“Glorious History”
Did he say that or is it the translator stuttering again?
“At least his bull is funny”
Enter: Lorenzo Rudolf
The Art world was once an easy place to navigate
(was it a place once?)
You had the west and then the rest of the world
Where is the international Art world located?
You had the west and then the west of the world
Local, Global, Asian, Contemporary, Community
careful buzzing sounds
“This will last for days. Go back to sleep”
Artists, Collectors, Professionals, Galleries, Artworks, Asian public
130 Galleries
Even Latin America
“He’s quoting his fucking press release”
And all of Asia is growing
“Ohhh he discovered Asia!”
Art Fairs are popping up like mushrooms after a September rain (He actually said that)
All of what happens in Asia and the world
“It takes a 老外 (laowai- old foreigner)”
Art Fair=Utopia
“Think they’ll feed us?”
Enter Pierre Huber
Is that English he's speaking
Simultaneous translator collision
Another historical retrospect
Once upon a time there was only Hans Van Dyck- This is true
And now all these.... what did he say?
Critical Discourse
Art Fair = Utopia
Thank You for Coming
谢谢光临